tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54013164164024813372024-02-20T09:02:01.224-06:00The Surly SpinsterAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-71713722323380707132014-01-05T07:00:00.000-06:002014-01-05T07:00:08.330-06:00Famous Spinster Birthday - Diane Keaton<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8LzTs73CkgXrqExBH2n0-Q8eAUN_Xg2lqCpKEDtQ8E587g8v5uv1cxXsaK1uYHXNc2AIWnU6YmyUznqHUwCmUR3IKl9NOPJCchXWyV__ZFZKBJbUyBJifHhUhg_ydb_7T3MRXQNaErNA/s1600/Diane+Keaton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8LzTs73CkgXrqExBH2n0-Q8eAUN_Xg2lqCpKEDtQ8E587g8v5uv1cxXsaK1uYHXNc2AIWnU6YmyUznqHUwCmUR3IKl9NOPJCchXWyV__ZFZKBJbUyBJifHhUhg_ydb_7T3MRXQNaErNA/s1600/Diane+Keaton.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I don't think because I'm not married it's made my life any less. That old-maid myth is garbage." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Keaton" target="_blank">Diane Keaton</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: January 5, 1946</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">(Note: She's not childless, but she's still pretty cool.)</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-18840470024182888392013-12-18T07:00:00.000-06:002013-12-18T07:00:02.749-06:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Queen Christina of Sweden<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtywogZaR1V7nX8n6Nq-V7qXxMYW7WPc7WLvS3igOsLpfQMQ9cxDDVbrE0y5nrQiYeYe-6dcbXh8FWK6EfQRleXF41qachA2RTVANK_wIsOxxeHWu72y-BXh_Tn82nh-4Q3juDiviov-Y/s1600/Swedish_queen_Drottning_Kristina_portrait_by_S%C3%A9bastien_Bourdon_stor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtywogZaR1V7nX8n6Nq-V7qXxMYW7WPc7WLvS3igOsLpfQMQ9cxDDVbrE0y5nrQiYeYe-6dcbXh8FWK6EfQRleXF41qachA2RTVANK_wIsOxxeHWu72y-BXh_Tn82nh-4Q3juDiviov-Y/s1600/Swedish_queen_Drottning_Kristina_portrait_by_S%C3%A9bastien_Bourdon_stor.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"As you know, no one over thirty years of age is afraid of tittle-tattle. I myself find it much less difficult to strangle a man than to fear him." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Christina_of_Sweden" target="_blank">Queen Christina of Sweden</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: December 18, 1626</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: April 19, 1689</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-69536184635744897922013-12-16T07:00:00.000-06:002013-12-16T07:00:06.594-06:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Jane Austen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPrzLP8-2JMTZj9rdzPrBWVq7OXcMZcs-_VnL5SX4FHXYYmsueAvJ369041RcFt6KXZvzq9-YojYax8rIGpiBsV1VhYKBv_WN__X1qZvRWDQ9xnpF4vY7RGK6RCnuwH39KIpx6X4xsxjY/s1600/Jane+Austen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPrzLP8-2JMTZj9rdzPrBWVq7OXcMZcs-_VnL5SX4FHXYYmsueAvJ369041RcFt6KXZvzq9-YojYax8rIGpiBsV1VhYKBv_WN__X1qZvRWDQ9xnpF4vY7RGK6RCnuwH39KIpx6X4xsxjY/s1600/Jane+Austen.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Austen" target="_blank">Jane Austen</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: December 16, 1775</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: July 18, 1817</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-5715152386098689332013-12-10T07:00:00.000-06:002013-12-10T07:00:00.574-06:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Emily Dickinson<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0haUfxXgPIiUM1rlrD13aPZSNkA2nXlR881_ukeozbPHRYNG3wx1LColoW4p53zGT3MaUPGa5hZu2H8CKAKKLYbQ6Oz7WPZLCRRyQ-iReqa62ZyasDGJJBSedebBXp5I4rMRwqJ9OwD0/s1600/Emily_Dickinson_daguerreotype.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0haUfxXgPIiUM1rlrD13aPZSNkA2nXlR881_ukeozbPHRYNG3wx1LColoW4p53zGT3MaUPGa5hZu2H8CKAKKLYbQ6Oz7WPZLCRRyQ-iReqa62ZyasDGJJBSedebBXp5I4rMRwqJ9OwD0/s1600/Emily_Dickinson_daguerreotype.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not have lived in vain." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emily_dickinson" target="_blank">Emily Dickinson</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: December 10, 1830</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: May 15, 1886</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-16604986921959391562013-12-04T07:00:00.000-06:002013-12-04T07:00:03.110-06:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Tyra Banks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipSIfzbB932JiwaCeL-chHW1uMWnO_sOMp1lw2YcQDQ0cNXaPLEMezAYscYZibSZtx6XQQHBf6pNVFkqag9a3EHUdXKyfz5jl3U09Up-Pgxb2U8sVUW48cGR9K3TQUEHnqTzlsYcuBahM/s1600/Tyra+Banks.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipSIfzbB932JiwaCeL-chHW1uMWnO_sOMp1lw2YcQDQ0cNXaPLEMezAYscYZibSZtx6XQQHBf6pNVFkqag9a3EHUdXKyfz5jl3U09Up-Pgxb2U8sVUW48cGR9K3TQUEHnqTzlsYcuBahM/s1600/Tyra+Banks.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"My mom never taught me to be waiting for some prince on a white horse to swipe me off my feet." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyra_banks" target="_blank">Tyra Banks</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: December 4, 1973</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-68780556665428366752013-11-30T07:41:00.000-06:002013-11-30T07:41:00.250-06:00Today in Queen Bess's Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcRw3YvvuXomTTBGJmCsurC-sskQ-sMRJopfJ-49PLH-ux-uMq7EtXelE6oIExTsk1oRexkU7tAgYuhMHrQl-r2f-0zUaCe9NRR3EeMVvyc1PHfj6cQ_hQ3cCVieQteAmjirygZwUN7FY/s1600/Queen-Elizabeth-I-xx-Marcus-Gheeraerts.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcRw3YvvuXomTTBGJmCsurC-sskQ-sMRJopfJ-49PLH-ux-uMq7EtXelE6oIExTsk1oRexkU7tAgYuhMHrQl-r2f-0zUaCe9NRR3EeMVvyc1PHfj6cQ_hQ3cCVieQteAmjirygZwUN7FY/s1600/Queen-Elizabeth-I-xx-Marcus-Gheeraerts.JPG" height="320" width="234" /></a></div>
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Today marks the anniversary of Elizabeth's famous <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Speech" target="_blank">Golden Speech</a> delivered to the Members of the House of Commons in 1601. It was to be the last time that she would ever address members of Parliament.<br />
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From the speech:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Tahoma, 'DejaVu Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 23.25px;">"It is not my desire to live or reign longer than my life and reign shall be for your good. And though you have had, and may have, many mightier and wiser princes sitting in this seat, yet you never had, nor shall have, any that will love you better."</span></blockquote>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-1377125096084576602013-11-29T07:00:00.000-06:002013-11-29T07:00:05.175-06:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Louisa May Alcott<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTYdiPdgtkUwEGHsaEOliXPpkv1g7t4KHG66iugTX_ILtc6zq_6sbjzzBsiVYuF_L5C3WW1XL9VrNygBDysH8fwSzrdZ17RwxqZrYTmNfiblXxuF3vThyphenhypheniePCfol2UkdBwo-Tah0XJId8/s1600/Louisa_May_Alcott_headshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTYdiPdgtkUwEGHsaEOliXPpkv1g7t4KHG66iugTX_ILtc6zq_6sbjzzBsiVYuF_L5C3WW1XL9VrNygBDysH8fwSzrdZ17RwxqZrYTmNfiblXxuF3vThyphenhypheniePCfol2UkdBwo-Tah0XJId8/s1600/Louisa_May_Alcott_headshot.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"It takes two flints to make a fire." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louisa_May_Alcott" target="_blank">Louisa May Alcott</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: November 29, 1832</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: March 6, 1888</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-59105495118582072782013-11-14T07:00:00.000-06:002013-11-14T07:00:09.121-06:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Dr. Condoleeza Rice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgFH5Eq_nX7zaLHyKqDgyNDEMHK8Boix9WjMxbRvRshpRVG8SVfO4ubI0yPQ112bYaEA9QV5U2tdfP1oSxN76AIjvNWgCEgb3b-6rLYcimbFFZqeZdQEn3yPKdoarBoRCyEwOCpnIVy6I/s1600/Condoleeza+Rice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgFH5Eq_nX7zaLHyKqDgyNDEMHK8Boix9WjMxbRvRshpRVG8SVfO4ubI0yPQ112bYaEA9QV5U2tdfP1oSxN76AIjvNWgCEgb3b-6rLYcimbFFZqeZdQEn3yPKdoarBoRCyEwOCpnIVy6I/s1600/Condoleeza+Rice.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I believe in a marriage of equals, that's how my parents were, and that's how I would see it." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condoleezza_Rice" target="_blank">Condoleeza Rice</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: November 14, 1954</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-76151318240615619622013-10-12T07:00:00.000-05:002013-10-12T07:00:05.521-05:00Today in Queen Bess's Life<div style="text-align: right;">
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9bu5Qj1qCpW6JCLb2U5vm-ZGgvsiDmZdanlnXkltf6Xof8Xv-9wfnxQeaIZFZulRz4z8V3xfQ7NxceRY19cH3HA6BHo6lGC3U6bEjqMkS7PvMGJiPsAF1Jn37dgYaGtQxq8CXCHbiZBc/s1600/Edward_VI_by_Holbein.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9bu5Qj1qCpW6JCLb2U5vm-ZGgvsiDmZdanlnXkltf6Xof8Xv-9wfnxQeaIZFZulRz4z8V3xfQ7NxceRY19cH3HA6BHo6lGC3U6bEjqMkS7PvMGJiPsAF1Jn37dgYaGtQxq8CXCHbiZBc/s1600/Edward_VI_by_Holbein.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Edward VI by Hans Holbein</td></tr>
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In 1537, Elizabeth becomes a big sister to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_VI_of_England" target="_blank">Edward</a> -- the child of her father and his third wife, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Seymour" target="_blank">Jane Seymour</a>. His birth was a source of much joy and relief for his father, his Advisors, and the English people. I'm going to bet that his mother was the most joyous and relieved since the two wives previous didn't fare well when they were unable to provide a male heir.<br />
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Alas, the Queen's joy was short-lived when she died ten days after the birth of her son due to post-natal complications.<br />
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A little over nine years later (and three more wives), Henry would die and his son would succeed him as King. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-49136118379584086892013-09-07T07:00:00.000-05:002013-09-07T07:00:09.782-05:00Today in Queen Bess's Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOwP1G-C-BDH-iMYFsGKDbwW-PWDRjA4xillstSSWW9kC1ZIQF9VObN7BHqa7dKNTSFj_ND6jNXkclQiwN_ltYwQYTIUTbefzwAxlTLc5l9eX3Fu-TSOOyQCw-BE9PB2jq8sw4yZvqCkY/s1600/rainbow+portrait.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOwP1G-C-BDH-iMYFsGKDbwW-PWDRjA4xillstSSWW9kC1ZIQF9VObN7BHqa7dKNTSFj_ND6jNXkclQiwN_ltYwQYTIUTbefzwAxlTLc5l9eX3Fu-TSOOyQCw-BE9PB2jq8sw4yZvqCkY/s1600/rainbow+portrait.jpg" height="320" width="269" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen, if he does not love me as a woman."</span><br />
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"I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Elizabeth_I" target="_blank">Queen Elizabeth I</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: September 7, 1533</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: March 24, 1603</span><br />
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(she gets two quotes because she is my Ultimate Spinster of All Time)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-72504734133861446162013-08-30T07:00:00.000-05:002013-08-30T07:00:03.485-05:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Cameron Diaz<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNqVuk0emfxWuZBHsI7JJ2Oee7_CPUHOXrTgZzPm8hn2s-1sal9LmhUJO5AVcdtUMoAZUmbNHM9w3IyW-e6DPsJ7E2if8T-7dv5gUsOACMJO1SD0aGGR5RfOu5FhEP95ASOLCvV6RJpdM/s1600/Cameron_Diaz_2,_2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNqVuk0emfxWuZBHsI7JJ2Oee7_CPUHOXrTgZzPm8hn2s-1sal9LmhUJO5AVcdtUMoAZUmbNHM9w3IyW-e6DPsJ7E2if8T-7dv5gUsOACMJO1SD0aGGR5RfOu5FhEP95ASOLCvV6RJpdM/s1600/Cameron_Diaz_2,_2012.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I don't believe you should make fun of anyone but yourself." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Diaz" target="_blank">Cameron Diaz</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: August 30, 1972</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-75134617777445956032013-08-26T07:00:00.000-05:002013-08-26T07:00:09.777-05:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Mother Teresa<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixGnLdRX6pJMDN38CCud1vMVFBOBSs2Z_bhNvgb7xZcoLtDcqa5jzwq9cElkfVL3trI1UnkMYDLu7LMOGfMt70NC_U4wjNcbAAepSzOFjWgoE-1NULdWRB8Ypnv5dWyU3JQkN8_uDXUHE/s1600/Mother+teresa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixGnLdRX6pJMDN38CCud1vMVFBOBSs2Z_bhNvgb7xZcoLtDcqa5jzwq9cElkfVL3trI1UnkMYDLu7LMOGfMt70NC_U4wjNcbAAepSzOFjWgoE-1NULdWRB8Ypnv5dWyU3JQkN8_uDXUHE/s1600/Mother+teresa.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Teresa" target="_blank">Mother Teresa</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: August 26, 1910</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: September 5, 1997</span><br />
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(Out of respect for Mother Teresa's beliefs, I acknowledge that she was, indeed, married. However, I think she really, really rocks so I am using the secular definition of marriage.)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-15617844068611105612013-08-19T07:00:00.000-05:002013-08-19T07:00:05.001-05:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Coco Chanel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQyedUG3n6fyt4pkaeWkLnDeH2XqC6BXOdyqsO6Xxg0bdFposIwXya5bG7FsZfC6Pq3Enf_BxvIRXfpQPc5A9N_sh6tH5hB7EFcjqLKvqGstNdN5pr5hDckV_E4ZM_8F0elV-tP_Lmcqs/s1600/Coco+Chanel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQyedUG3n6fyt4pkaeWkLnDeH2XqC6BXOdyqsO6Xxg0bdFposIwXya5bG7FsZfC6Pq3Enf_BxvIRXfpQPc5A9N_sh6tH5hB7EFcjqLKvqGstNdN5pr5hDckV_E4ZM_8F0elV-tP_Lmcqs/s1600/Coco+Chanel.jpg" height="232" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coco_Chanel" target="_blank">Coco Chanel</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: August 19, 1883</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: January 10, 1971</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-69400037671936450692013-08-09T07:00:00.000-05:002013-08-09T07:00:13.853-05:00Today in Queen Bess's Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_lmBMdE9wR2TM989ghOG4iCdeAyj7QwQ3grSeSOLadphcp7qoHYnr_1Jh4s85c8lim3yWNM984HKl5GAswEZ3bkARRc1nC14hHgOk6F9tgrG7Y8MMfrgbwktUXKEoTInbkiv5aMQ7BEw/s1600/At+Tilbury.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_lmBMdE9wR2TM989ghOG4iCdeAyj7QwQ3grSeSOLadphcp7qoHYnr_1Jh4s85c8lim3yWNM984HKl5GAswEZ3bkARRc1nC14hHgOk6F9tgrG7Y8MMfrgbwktUXKEoTInbkiv5aMQ7BEw/s1600/At+Tilbury.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today marks the anniversary of the Queen's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speech_to_the_Troops_at_Tilbury" target="_blank">speech to the troops at Tilbury</a> after the defeat of the Spanish Armada ten days earlier in 1588. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are different accounts of the speech. The one I like the best:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"My loving people</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit our selves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery; but I assure you I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people. Let tyrants fear. I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects; and therefore I am come amongst you, as you see, at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood, even in the dust.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alessandro_Farnese,_Duke_of_Parma_and_Piacenza" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: initial;" title="Alessandro Farnese, Duke of Parma and Piacenza">Parma</a> or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_II_of_Spain" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: initial;" title="Philip II of Spain">Spain</a>, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm; to which rather than any dishonour shall grow by me, I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.<br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know already, for your forwardness you have deserved rewards and crowns; and We do assure you in the word of a prince, they shall be duly paid you. In the mean time, my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble or worthy subject; not doubting but by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valour in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people."</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah, I went cheesy with the photo because it's one of my favorite scenes from the movie <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414055/" target="_blank">Elizabeth: The Golden Age</a>.</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-5658580359766186142013-07-30T07:00:00.000-05:002013-07-30T07:00:04.722-05:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Emily Bronte<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAZ30dvqEr3mvYZjknDbWaZkyV1Cje1tERsSEndQ-TjIgSXwO4KYo4K-pPIvMpIQtODtoeRoyW1S1kwun6QLQhuBSXSsL_-NR_9y-kLzRw2S7GwIquK-IMRhYxLkuK76s7efhyphenhyphen8iNCl0c/s1600/200px-Emilybronte_retouche.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAZ30dvqEr3mvYZjknDbWaZkyV1Cje1tERsSEndQ-TjIgSXwO4KYo4K-pPIvMpIQtODtoeRoyW1S1kwun6QLQhuBSXSsL_-NR_9y-kLzRw2S7GwIquK-IMRhYxLkuK76s7efhyphenhyphen8iNCl0c/s1600/200px-Emilybronte_retouche.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I'll walk where my own nature would be leading: It vexes me to choose another guide." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emily_Bronte" target="_blank">Emily Bronte</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: July 30, 1818</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: December 19, 1848</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-27153888407485781832013-07-29T07:00:00.000-05:002013-07-29T07:00:04.715-05:00Today in Queen Bess's Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilRE-RgR3rDlQsC4ar8AMz0AMdbu4_AuEwZ-krmm8P2mQNybeCE94KeHu-_6GGgC1F30MjTGABhht56OJbVw1alDrhmMIl5h1tWXx5N3X1ptGifCLdPR0pxui3OW1afxtbtgL4NZw1YFc/s1600/Elizabeth_I_(Armada_Portrait).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilRE-RgR3rDlQsC4ar8AMz0AMdbu4_AuEwZ-krmm8P2mQNybeCE94KeHu-_6GGgC1F30MjTGABhht56OJbVw1alDrhmMIl5h1tWXx5N3X1ptGifCLdPR0pxui3OW1afxtbtgL4NZw1YFc/s1600/Elizabeth_I_(Armada_Portrait).jpg" height="254" width="320" /></a></div>
Britain's <a href="http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/spanish-armada-defeated" target="_blank">defeat of the Spanish Armada in 1588</a> is, perhaps, one of those events that is taught in most every Western History class as it was the moment that Britain proved its superiority on the seas. The battle also resulted in a technological revolution that changed the face of naval battles.<br />
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The planned invasion by Spain was ordered by the Kind of Spain, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_II_of_Spain" target="_blank">Phillip II</a>, and supported by the then Pope, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Sixtus_V" target="_blank">Sixtus V</a>. Phillip was the widower of Elizabeth's older, Roman Catholic sister, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_I_of_England" target="_blank">Mary</a>. Ever since Mary's death, Phillip had challenged the legitimacy of Elizabeth's rule and called her a heretic for her Protestant beliefs. The failed invasion had been regarded as a crusade.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-65737298565204261942013-07-19T07:00:00.000-05:002013-07-19T07:00:06.786-05:00Famous Spinster Birthday -- Lizzie Borden<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidfqs0XT-kCjoFH3PR3YWVyTYb1IUSP7mnDcpb1MnLW5q2-cxUSxAR0T1yLgnS6d1AfXdgWT4lktH3HNmNqbAPIsE6rWEGCjg2_jEGAq9rdI-tN35pY1w1v4HC5hA4V7pO4lYGIJAwnCk/s1600/Lizzie_borden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidfqs0XT-kCjoFH3PR3YWVyTYb1IUSP7mnDcpb1MnLW5q2-cxUSxAR0T1yLgnS6d1AfXdgWT4lktH3HNmNqbAPIsE6rWEGCjg2_jEGAq9rdI-tN35pY1w1v4HC5hA4V7pO4lYGIJAwnCk/s1600/Lizzie_borden.jpg" height="320" width="208" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Oh, Mrs. Churchill, do come over, someone has killed father." -- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizzie_Borden" target="_blank">Lizzie Borden</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Born: July 19, 1860</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Died: June 1, 1927</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-18809533552565116042013-06-18T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-18T07:00:00.592-05:00EER Rant Chapter 7: How to Use Subject LinesWhen our elementary school teachers started us on writing essays or book reports, one of the most important elements we learned about was the title. The title is meant to tell the reader what your essay is about. From the emails I receive, I am wondering if there was a shortage of red pencils everywhere else in the country because these subject lines (or titles) suck. I can only think that they were never taught how to write a proper title and that is why their subject lines tend to appear as if they were written by illiterates.<br />
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Subject line abuse has so many different forms, I decided to make a list for this post.<br />
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<b>1. No subject line.</b> What more do I need to say? The only thing I can think of is that this is actually a strategy. The sender thinks the recipient will receive the subject line-less email and think, "Oooh! A surprise problem! It's just like <i>Let's Make a Deal</i>! I'm going to open that one first!" Guess what? If you didn't take the time to think of a couple of words that describe the content of the email, I can't see why I'm going to look at it first.<br />
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<b>2. Entire message is in the subject line.</b> Yeah... And I'm not saying just a two word message. I've received emails that have two or three sentence subject lines with no body. Wtf? First, it's messy to read. Second, it makes that email three or four lines high in my inbox which pushes other conversations out of my sight. This is not a text message. It's an email. Act like you've used email before.<br />
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<b>3. The subject is in all caps.</b> Isn't the most basic of all email etiquette knowledge? ALL CAPS MEANS YOU'RE SHOUTING AT ME. Because you are not walking behind me in the hallway and need to get my attention before I go into another room, you don't need to effing yell at me. I brought this issue up to the supervisor of a person who always sent her emails that way. He made the excuse, "Well, she has her caps lock on for another program she uses a lot. I'm sure that's why she does it." I responded with, "Then why isn't the body of her email in caps?" He didn't have an answer. He also hasn't corrected her. I guess he doesn't care how she's representing his company.<br />
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<b>4. The subject is 'Question'</b>. This is only minimally better than no subject line. If you are in business and writing someone an email, it's unlikely you are writing to say, "I just wanted to tell you that you're awesome." You have a question or a need. I don't believe you aren't creative. I just think you're lazy. That's not fair, the lazier person just uses the question mark.<br />
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<b>5. The subject line says "call me"</b>. Uhm. This is sorta like #2. I decided to give it's own listing because it's a combo of #2 on this list and the "Urgent" flag. You need to talk with me. How is it <i>you</i> cannot pick up the phone? If you are afraid you are interrupting a meeting, you needn't worry! I won't pick up the phone!<br />
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I'm not asking for the first sentence of a great novel. I don't need to be intrigued by what is within the email. I just need to have an idea before I open it up. That's all. Not much to ask.<br />
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What kinds of subject line irritations do you experience?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-1937106225537191262013-06-17T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-17T07:00:01.786-05:00 EER Rant Chapter 6: Respect the Out of Office MessageI am a huge fan of the Out of Office Message. When I send an email with an issue which requires a timely (not immediate -- because that's what phone calls are for) response and I receive a message letting me know that the person is out and how long they are going to be out, I can decide how I want to proceed. If I cannot wait until they are back, I go to another person who might be able to help and I send a note to the original recipient that says, "Hey. This is taken care of." That way, they have one less thing on their desk when they return to work.<br />
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I know a few people, however, who seem to think the "Out of Office" message is either a dare or an invitation to, "Please fill up my inbox while I am away. While I am out, I am dreaming of dealing with all of your issues when I return." I'm not trying to diminish any concerns the senders might have. It's just that these particular correspondents seem to think, "Ooh. Everyone else is going to leave her alone. So, if I fill up her inbox, she will be working on my stuff as soon as she returns."<br />
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When I had that surgery back in February, I called one of my clients and told him that I was going to have to cancel an appointment we had because I was going to have emergency surgery and then would be taking time off to recuperate. The "Out of Office" message I set up said simply that I was out of the office until X date because I didn't feel like telling the world that I had surgery. That client sent me three emails a day for a week -- even the weekends.<br />
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After twenty one emails, he emailed to ask, "Have you been getting my emails?"<br />
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Because of the heavy dose of Oxycodone, it took me an hour to craft the following:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Dear Dumbfuck,<br />I have been getting your emails. In fact, they are pissing me off because you know I had surgery. "Recovering" from surgery doesn't mean answering your emails all day. I can hardly figure out how to send an email because of these splendid drugs which are, by the way, the reason I haven't called you to tell you off.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Because of you, I will need to resume drinking in order to cope after I run out of my oxy.<br />XOXO<br />Surly Spinster</blockquote>
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Because I follow the rule of not sending off emails when I am in angry, I discarded the message when I was done. Well... I hit "print" and then discarded the message. It's hanging on my office door because I just might snail mail it to him one day if I get another job.<br />
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Here's the point... You may think the "Out of Office" message means the person is taking a lovely vacation in a tropical place which means they will be so re-energized when they return that they are going to be able to plow through your requests in record time. Stop to think before you freak out and load them up. Maybe they are sick, maybe someone in their family is sick, maybe someone has passed away. In short, don't be a dick. Oh, and even if they are on vacay, they are not looking forward to your marathon of missives when they return.<br />
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What do you think? Is it okay to fill up someone's inbox when you know they are gone? Unless, of course, you hate them.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-37011912794353154882013-06-16T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-16T07:00:00.256-05:00EER Rant Chapter 5: Do Not Write An Email When You Are Angry Or In a RushOne of my favorite pieces of wisdom is:<br />
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<i>Say it and forget it, write it and regret it.</i></blockquote>
I heard it on the <a href="http://peoplescourt.warnerbros.com/index.html" target="_blank">People's Court</a> one day. I don't know if the credit should go to <a href="http://peoplescourt.warnerbros.com/about/judge.html" target="_blank">Judge Marilyn Milian</a> or if it's from somewhere else. The case was about the defendant owing the plaintiff money and the defendant claiming that the money was a gift -- like the majority of cases on the show. The plaintiff, however, had texts from the defendant that said the defendant was going to pay her back. Done. Case closed. The defendant tried to claim that wasn't evidence. The judge disagreed because the texts came from her phone and the defendant admitted to writing them. That was when the judge said the above.<br />
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What does that mean in the email world? It means the same thing. If you do not want anyone else seeing what you have written, do not write it. If you write something that is nasty, threatening, shows your incompetence or can be construed to do so -- you could live to regret it.<br />
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How does this apply to etiquette? Simply, don't be rude or thoughtless -- be a professional. I am blown away by what has been coming through my inbox in terms of this very issue. I've been thinking to myself far too often in the past few weeks, "Did you really want to put that in writing?" <i>Really</i>? The answer is likely, "No." They did it anyhow -- probably because, at the time, they were angry or in a rush.<br />
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You have no business writing or responding to emails when you are angry or in a rush. Well, no one can dictate that you have no business -- it's just a terrible, terrible idea. When you send on an email that was formulated in an angry moment, a hurried rush, or worst of all an angry hurried rush, the recipient might get hurt feelings, be insulted, or get angry. You, on the other hand, can come off as incompetent, bitter, and just plain unprofessional. The worst part? You have just put a loaded gun in the recipient's hand. Depending on just how intense the feeling created by your email, they could just hit "Forward" and type in your boss's email address. It won't go well for you after that.<br />
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Last month, I received an email that drove me <i>wild</i>. It came from a student intern at a client organization I work with. My main contact and I were trying to resolve an issue. We copied her on our email thread mostly as a courtesy. She hopped into the conversation and, in not so many words, told us both we didn't know what we were talking about. She didn't just suggest, she <i>told </i>us that we were old fashioned and needed to be looking at the situation in a more modern way. On top of it, she made mention of a conversation that I'd had with another intern. That conversation wasn't part of the email discussion and the intern hadn't understood the conversation and had admitted as much to me. At least she was smart enough not to put <i>that</i> in writing.<br />
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They very worst part of the email was that all of the intern's comments were about a completely different issue and did not pertain in any way to the conversation in the email. I happened to be on site when I received the email. I went to the office of the person who I'd been corresponding with and, when I appeared in his office door with my jaw hanging open, he looked up at me and chuckled, "I know. I couldn't believe it either."<br />
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I went back to my work area and wrote a sizzling response to the young lady. One that would probably make me cry if I received it. I then clicked, "Discard" and sat back in my chair. I felt better and I didn't lower myself to her level. After that, I had a conversation with her direct supervisor (who she had decided to copy on the email). He was embarrassed and apologized to me as a business partner. I accepted that, but suggested this would be a good learning moment for the young lady and she should be required to send an apology email to the both of us. He squirmed at that because, "She was just upset and tired from finals." <br />
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I then asked him if it was okay if I had a conversation with her then, telling her just what was wrong with her email and that, if she were in a different environment in a paid position, it could mean job termination. He accepted that option -- probably because that meant he wouldn't have to have the confrontation of telling her that she needed to apologize.<br />
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Later that day, I sat down with the young lady. She knew what the conversation was going to be about and had already prepared her excuses about fatigue, stress from finals, not reading clearly enough, etc. I let her get about ten seconds in when I stopped her and laid out for her that none of that mattered. She was still required to be a professional. Her email was insulting on many levels -- most especially the point she made about our lack of understanding of the issue when, combined, myself and the other person have <i>60 years</i> of experience. "That's three times longer than you've been alive," I pointed out.<br />
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By the end of our conversation, she was apologetic and even thankful because she saw my point. She shared with me that she had gotten into the habit of writing such emails during this internship and she thought it was okay because no one had said anything to her. Of course they hadn't -- no one there is as crabby as I am.<br />
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Remember you have to <i>work</i> with people. Think before you put things in writing.<br />
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Have you ever received an email that has made your jaw drop?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-77553878265915868682013-06-15T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-15T07:00:00.865-05:00EER Rant Chapter 4: Read the Emails I Send YouSeriously. I don't write emails for my health. The purpose of my email is to convey information that you have requested or that I know you are going to need. That doesn't mean I never want to talk to you or that I am unwilling to answer any questions about the information within emails that I've sent. What it means, however, is that, if you aren't going to call me and ask me questions, you will follow the directions I have sent you.<br />
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Why? If you are a client, you have indicated that you want to do business and so it is inferred that you also want to make money. If you are a coworker, you are working on a project with me that is designed to make money. When you are doing something that you've never done before, you can't just make up the rules because you will either lose money for yourself, for my company, or both.<br />
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Just last week, I received an email from a client that contained the following:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
When we sent our items, we did not follow the return process exactly
as it was laid out for us in the email...What I was wondering is, would this be a problem that may need to be dealt
with?</blockquote>
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The answer? Yes it is a problem that needs to be dealt with. In fact, it's an extremely big issue now.<br />
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I responded immediately with what needed to happen if there was any chance of fixing it and I indicated the level of time sensitivity.<br />
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It's been a week since I sent that reply and he's not provided the required information.<br />
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I will hear from him in the next few days. He won't have the information. He will want me to fix it even though I am no longer able to fix the situation. I will have to answer the email -- will he read it this time?<br />
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At least he didn't use the Urgent flag.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-11329837795285538132013-06-14T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-14T07:00:00.521-05:00EER Rant Chapter 3: Use Your Address BookThis topic is mostly inspired by a misuse of subject lines, but I thought it deserved its very own post. This is a rare ettiquette violation because most people are not this lazy... But, because there are a couple of people in my email world who really are this lazy, I thought I'd articulate a bit because I feel like I actually conquered this bad habit.<br />
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I have a client who didn't want to add my name to address book because clicking on the option, "Add sender to address book" was too daunting. Instead, he'd search through his prolific inbox (he doesn't delete anything and is usually in trouble with his email admin) for a previous email from me and then hit "reply" and start a whole new conversation.<br />
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Drove me out of my gourd: I thought the issue was resolved, is it a problem again?<br />
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It happened enough that I finally started leaving those messages unopened until he emailed again asking if I'd addressed the issue. Then I responded with, "Oh. I didn't even look at the email because I thought it was a closed issue." After five rounds of that, the dipshit added me to his address book.<br />
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I was recently involved in a long email conversation with a friend. I think there were more than twenty emails in the thread. Then there was something that she wanted to make sure I didn't pass over in our casual conversation, so she started a different thread with a different subject line. I was delighted! A kindred spirit. That's EXACTLY how email needs to be used. And you know who you are!<br />
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<b>There is one exception to this rule:</b> <i>Do not put me in your address book if you use Yahoo Mail.</i> Every single person that I correspond with that uses Yahoo Mail has sent me spam/virus mail. Every single one. On a quarterly basis. I have sent important business emails to the same Yahoo mail users that have ended up in their spam mail despite the fact that I am in their address book.<br />
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I know you love yahoo.com because it was one of the firsts and everyone in your world has that email address. <b> Hard Truth: </b> They are making money off you even though they gave you a free email. They may protect <i>you</i> from spam email, but they do not protect the people you correspond with.<br />
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Your friends, however, think you need to go to gmail.com. Just like Facebook and Yahoo, Google is making money off you when you sign up for a free email address. Difference is that they've never pretended that they aren't making money. Google is upfront about the fact they want to change the face of the world while making a whole bunch of money. Just do it. www.gmail.com.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-78233896058915470932013-06-13T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-13T07:00:00.292-05:00EER Rant Chapter 2: Facebook Is Not EmailThe topic of Facebook could be its own rant in my world because I despise the forum. However, I want to address the idea that people think it is the only way to communicate with the world.<br />
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How many times have you been at a social gathering or talking with a friend and they've responded to your surprise at a piece of news with, "I posted it on Facebook."? What.Ever. OMG! LOL! UCBS!<br />
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I get it. I am a luddite because I hate Facebook. Why? Because it's marketed as "Social Networking" when it's actually a money maker for Mark Zuckerberg and his shareholders. It's the effing Gap of the internet and we all have to have a page! According to <a href="http://expandedramblings.com/index.php/resource-how-many-people-use-the-top-social-media/" target="_blank">DMR Digital Marketing Ramblings</a><i>, </i>there are 1.11 billion users on Facebook. The current <a href="http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/" target="_blank">world population clock</a> says there are 7,122,243,721 people in the world at the moment I wrote this. Only 15% of the world is on Facebook! I am not a rebel because I do not want anything to do with Facebook. I am, simply, like the majority (85%) of the world!<br />
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If you want me to know something -- email me (and don't mark that communication urgent) or call me! I know you have a lot of things to do and don't have time to call everyone who should know that your kid graduated from kindergarten. Hate to break it to you ... Not all of the 750 Facebook Friends you have give a shit (probably only 15% -- 112.5 of your friends -- care). I might actually give a shit -- that's why you should contact me personally and not rely on me to stalk you through Facebook. I don't have the <i>interest</i> nor the<i> time</i>.<br />
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Seriously. If I am going to waste my time doing internet stalking it will be spent on searches like:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=aaron+rodgers+girlfriend&oq=aaron+rodgers+girl&aqs=chrome.0.0l3j57j62l2.3278j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">Aaron Rodgers Girlfriend</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=aaron+rodgers+stats&oq=aaron+rodgers+stat&aqs=chrome.0.0j57j5j0j62l2.4474j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">Aaron Rodgers Statistics</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=aaron+rodgers+on+brett+favre&oq=aaron+rodgers+on+brett+favre&aqs=chrome.0.57j0l3j62l2.4593j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">Aaron Rodgers on Brett Favre</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=clay+matthews+vs+brian+urlacher&oq=clay+matthews+vs+brian+urlacher&aqs=chrome.0.57j0l3.9289j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">Clay Matthews vs Brian Urlacher</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+cure+constipation+in+my+cat&oq=how+to+cure+constipation+in+my+cat&aqs=chrome.0.57j0.23772j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">How to cure constipation in my cat</a></li>
</ul>
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These are the things that are at the forefront of my mind and they are more entertaining and time consuming than catching up with your being at Starbucks enjoying a <a href="http://www.starbucks.com/menu/drinks/refreshers/very-berry-hibiscus" target="_blank">Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher</a>. It does sound good, but I don't care. Do you care that I'm having gas from the cole slaw I ate last night?<br />
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I am notorious for going to bed very early. When you are incessantly surly, you use a lot of energy and need to go to bed early after you've had your 4:00pm early bird dinner special. RBF had a choice when she learned she was pregnant. She could post it on Facebook and risk my running into a mutual friend who would blurt the news to me because I hadn't looked or she could CALL ME at 11:30pm (when I'd been asleep for two hours). She called me. She made the correct choice. When I got up the next morning, I proceeded to order baby Packer fan clothing and I was not pissed off that she'd told the world before she told me.<br />
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Want to make someone feel special? Tell them something before you post it on Facebook.<br />
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Should Facebook be the only way you get your information about the the people you love?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-18678075632753446422013-06-12T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-12T07:00:12.109-05:00EER Rant Chapter 1: The "Urgent" FlagBecause this was the straw that broke the spinster's back, I thought I'd start here.<br />
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According to thefreedictionary.com, "urgent" is defined as:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
1. Compelling immediate action or attention; pressing.<br />2. Insistent or importunate<br />3. Conveying a sense of pressing importance.</blockquote>
"Urgent Email" is an oxymoron to me. How in the world can email possibly be urgent? It is sent to someone's email account which means that they have to be sitting in front of their computer or have their smart phone in front of their face to be able to see it immediately. The person you sent that email to could be in an all day meeting, out sick for the day, or taking a potty break. Technology also plays a role. I know, I know -- technology never fails. Whatever. What happens if the admin just put a new spam buster on their server and your domain gets you dumped to a junk mail box that the person doesn't look at regularly? What if your company's server goes down?<br />
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I realize that you are more important that any other person on the planet. I am constantly looking at my inbox for messages from you. Get over yourself. You are definitely the idiot at the grocery store who sees that every register has a long line so you go to a lane where there is no cashier because, obviously, the store is going to send someone scurrying over to you to take care of your needs -- the rest of us sheep that took a place in line are completely stupid and unimportant.<br />
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<b>Here is an honest truth:</b> <i>No one wants to open your "Urgent" email.</i> Why? Because it contains either a problem or a threat of loss of business unless you are paid attention to RIGHT NOW. You know what else? Your urgent emails are never about shit that I've done wrong, but about shit that you have fucked up and need me to fix. Why does being a fuck up mean you get to be at the front of the line? Hey, I want to and am going to help you, but get over the idea that your fuck up is anywhere more imperative than the dope who politely asked me.<br />
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When someone has something urgent, they call 911. They do not email 911, the police, ambulance, rescue, etc. If this is really that urgent, you need to PICK UP THE PHONE. I know your fingers aren't broken because you typed the email message. The fact that you emailed rather than called also signals to me that you <i>know</i> that you are not going to die, your business is not going to go bankrupt, or a plague of locusts is not going to visit your firstborn if I do not answer your email before all of the other ones that are in my inbox.<br />
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You know when an urgent email is appropriate? If you work for some branch of the government such as the DoD, Homeland Security, the Secret Service, the CIA, the FBI, or any other organization that is working with secrets and bombs and the message is: There is a nuclear weapon headed for us RIGHT NOW.<br />
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In my opinion, the Urgent Flag should never appear on an email. I think the sender should have the option to mark something as urgent so they can get the following set of questions:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Are you dying?</li>
<li>Did you fuck up?</li>
<li>Did even your teachers roll their eyes because you raised your hand to answer every question?</li>
<li>Have you ever lined up two hours before Santa was to arrive at the mall?</li>
</ol>
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If you answer "yes" to one or more of the questions, PICK UP THE PHONE. This email will not be sent with an exclamation mark in front of it because it is more important that you <i>talk</i> with someone (preferably a therapist) about your over-inflated sense of self. Trying to apply the "urgent" flag will result in a copy of the story <i>The Boy Who Cried Wolf</i> to be emailed to you on a daily basis until you pass the reading comprehension quiz that goes with the story.<br />
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Sound off. Does the "Urgent" email flag set you off?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401316416402481337.post-33298499826032856892013-06-11T07:00:00.000-05:002013-06-11T07:00:08.397-05:00Email Ettiquette Rants -- IntroductionI've been absent for a long time. Much of that is due to virtual burnout. What I mean by that is that my virtual life has been burning me to the ground in terms of my work email inbox. Over the past month, I have received and sent more than 750 emails. That's just what I can estimate from looking at my Inbox and my Sent Mail. There are a ton more emails that I have deleted. 500 of those emails were received in a twelve day period. My therapist validated that was stressful. As she put it, "Everyone wanted a piece of you."<br />
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Yeah ... And not a fun piece if you know what I mean.<br />
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That doesn't lend well to opening up anything email/internet related without regarding it as work or as a "problem" that needs resolution.<br />
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This morning almost tipped me over the edge. I received an "Urgent" email at 8am that said, "Have you looked this over yet?" Uhm. The answer was, "Fuck no. I did not look it over because you fucking sent it at 7pm on Friday. I have other shit to do on my weekend." The email was sent by a client and the situation was not urgent. Hmmmm....<br />
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I am the second person I know that used email back in 1992. I've had acquaintances tell me that they were using it regularly five to six years prior to that. Highly unlikely because none of those people were working with the DoD, a private interest that contracted with the DoD, or a University -- and they aren't mouth breathing anti social dorkwads who might have early email because they had no other social outlet. But whatever. I started using email when one of my best friends in college was going to take a trip to Germany the fall semester of our senior year. He mentioned that it would be fun if I got an email account and we could set dates to chat each week.<br />
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I was on board. He had an email account because he was a Physics major and the email admin for the campus was the Physics department chair. All of the majors and professors had email. Anyone else had to apply -- even other faculty. The application was no joke. I had to explain my purpose for wanting this precious resource as well as what volume I thought I'd be using. How in the world could I have estimated volume when I only knew one person who had an electronic mail address?!<br />
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My application was approved and I signed a 'contract' which said that any misuse or abuse on my part would result in an immediate revocation of my access. Forgetting my password was a three strike rule. The professor in charge just didn't have time for morons who couldn't remember their passwords. If you couldn't remember your password, you were obviously not worthy.<br />
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As a result, I take my email accounts very seriously. I do have a separate email account for personal use, but I am definitely not one of those that sends on the email chains that predict your death or financial destruction if you do not pass them on in ten minutes. I estimate that I should have died approximately 3,000 times and filed bankruptcy about 1,009 times. I do send funnies to people -- usually in the form of a link I found amusing, a photo, or a funny story about my day. My personal email is for communicating information.<br />
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To me, it doesn't matter whether it's personal or work related -- filling someone's email with annoying nonsense is nonsense.<br />
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Upon reading that urgent missive this morning, I decided that it would be best if I just "let it all hang out". Perhaps ranting about it here would help me get over this hump. Perhaps, even, I could start a revolution. Hang on tight. I have made notes. I have at least 14 days worth of rants about the topic of email ettiquette (moving forward it will be known as 'EER' -- Email Ettiquette Rant), it's demise, and the probable fall of society as we know it.<br />
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Share with me what aggravates you about what you consider email misuse -- if I haven't already put it on my list, I'm sure that it's irritated me at some point in the past 21 years. I can freestyle that. If it's already on my list, you can expect a detailed rant.<br />
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Let's start that revolution! You just might know someone who violates the ettiquette (or, at least, my definition) rules that will follow. You can forward them the post. It's a perfect use of email: Here you go dipshit. Quit doing this.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02314785062237983037noreply@blogger.com0