Dogs and Rats and Sharks -- OH MY!

Dogs because Mr. Man has gotten himself out of the dog house because he spent some time pampering me after I reinjured myself and had to go back on the pain killers.  We also had a talk and cleared up some misunderstandings.

Rats (really big ones) and Sharks because it was my stupidity that caused the reinjury.  When it's snowing and the walk is icy, one shouldn't slip on a pair of clogs with worn soles when going out to the car...  And so it goes:


MM:  I have to go now, but you aren't allowed to go outside tonight.

SS: [pouting]  I'll be fine.

MM:  There's no need for you to go outside.  The refrigerator is stocked and you have an entire case of Diet Coke.

SS:  [sighing]

MM:  [holding up a warning finger] Just to be sure, I'm going to put a whole bunch of rats -- really big rats -- and sharks in the hallway.  That way, if you even try to leave, they will CHOMP you!

SS:  [laughing despite herself]

MM: [opening the door]  Remember, really big rats and sharks! [bending to my ear and growling] CHOMP!

Then a quick peck and he was gone.

He didn't say anything about going out in the morning when I was out of smokes ....

Spinster in the News!

Today in Queen Bess's Life

Portrait of Elizabeth c1560
Artist Unknown

On this day in 1559, Elizabeth responded to Parliament's request that she marry.  It was the first of Parliament's delegations that she marry.  Her response was measured and finely crafted.  In fact, she suggests that it is God that does not want her to marry and that it has nothing to do with her own desires.  That if God wanted her to marry, he would incline her heart toward a man she should marry.  Ever proper, she ends her speech very politely:

"And here I end, and take your coming unto me in good part, and give unto all eftsoons my hearty thanks, more yet for your zeal and good meaning than for your petition."

The speech can be read in its entirety here. 

Spinster's modern spin:

I know that your codpieces are all in a twirl.  What can I say?  God has not yet provided me with a man that can keep up with me.  Seriously, I speak five languages, am an accomplished writer and horsewoman, escaped execution by my own sister, and became the friggin' Queen of England!  Who do you think can possibly live up to that?

Go home and worry about your own shit, I've got things to do.

Peace,
Queen Lizzilicious

Because I cannot find the date of Elizabeth's response to Parliament's second entreaty to marry in 1566, I will include it here as this speech is the one that receives more attention -- likely for the change in tone and the solid tongue lashing that it is unleashed upon the Members.

This makes me happy

I've really been restrained, you know.  I love the Packers so much that I could probably write about them every single day.  I was even reserved and did not write about my sob fest when my favorite player of all time (not Aaron Rodgers) retired on Wednesday in a historic sports moment as fans were allowed to be at his retirement ceremony...  If you're a fan of Dancing With the Stars, you might recognize him.  If you're a fan of Dancing With the Stars who complained that Donald only won because of all the Packers fans ...  Well, there's a reason why we all started voting right at the show's start even though he hadn't even danced yet.  He enjoys wild popularity among Packers fans (and that's saying something) because of his tremendous ability on the field, but more because of things like this:

If you didn't watch Dancing With the Stars, here's a taste of what you missed ...

Yes I picked this one because of the gratuitous nakedness on his part...  If he'd come to my door to give me a hug, I might have asked he remove his shirt ... Then pass out.

Today in Queen Bess's Life

Tomb Effigy of Mary Queen of Scots

On this day in 1587, Elizabeth's cousin, Mary Queen of Scots, was executed upon Elizabeth's orders.  For what?  Basically for plotting the assassination of Elizabeth.  What would Mary gain by Elizabeth's death?  The English throne as she was the eldest descendant of Henry VIII's sister.  Roman Catholics believed she was the rightful heir since Elizabeth was both illegitimate and a Protestant Heretic.

Mary became the Queen of Scotland when she was six days old and her father died.  When she was only six months old, Henry VIII tried to propose a treaty with Scotland that would wed Mary to his son Edward.  Some of the Regents left in charge of Scotland didn't like this idea and, eventually, Mary was sent to France.  It was in France that she was raised with the Prince Dauphin and they married when she was sixteen (and he was fifteen).