Is that scale of yours accurate?

You might recall my triumph at finding out that I weighed 11 pounds less than I thought I would two Sunday's ago.  I shared that good news to anyone who would listen because everyone cares, right?  Of course I told Mr. Man.  Of course, he has no frame of reference because I've never told him how much I weigh.  He's seven inches taller than me and I know I weigh more -- or, on good days, the same.

So, later that week, Mr. Man and I were enjoying a snuggle under my newly cleaned down comforter.  The conversation went a little like this.

MM:  Is that scale of yours accurate?

SS:  Yeah.  Why do you ask?

MM:  I dunno, I just saw it in the bathroom and wondered if it's accurate.

SS:  It has to be because I always weigh myself before I go to the doctor and it's only two pounds off their scale.  If anything it must be heavy because when I weigh myself at home, I'm naked, I've peed, and I've had nothing to eat or drink yet that morning.  When I go to the doctor, I've had breakfast and am fully clothed.

MM:  [nodding]  Makes sense. [throwing back the comforter and getting out of bed] I gotta pee.



SS:  You better not weigh yourself and come back and tell me that you're twenty pounds lighter than you thought you were.

If he weighed himself, he kept that to himself.

A few days later on the phone:

SS:  I was thinking about the conversation we had about my scale's accuracy.

MM:  Uh-huh.

SS:  I was thinking it was like those Far Side cartoons where a woman is talking to a man and it shows what he hears which is "Blah Blah Blah"  and then what she hears is completely different than what he says.  Like, he says, "The sky is blue." and she hears, "This blue sweater makes me look so big I block out the sky?"

MM:  [chuckling]  Yeah?

SS:  So when you asked if my scale was accurate, you were just asking if the scale was accurate, right?  You weren't trying to suggest I didn't really weigh eleven pounds less than I thought I did.

MM:  Correct.

SS:  I was being a girl when I thought there was something more to what you were asking?

MM:  Correct.

SS:  And right now I'm being a girl because I'm thinking that you really did mean something when you asked the question but you don't want to hurt my feelings by admitting that you did mean something else?

MM:  [sighing]  Pretty much.

And why would I take his last name when it's obvious he's trying to drive me insane?