Today in Queen Bess's Life

King Erick XIV of Sweden

Elizabeth had many suitors.  And why not?  She was rich, articulate, accomplished, and the leader of the most powerful nation in the Western World.  Why do all the work when your wife can do it for you?  One of her most ardent pursuers was King Erik XIV of Sweden.

On this day in 1560, Elizabeth finally doused the flames of his love with the following letter:

Most Serene Prince Our Very Dear Cousin,

A letter truly yours both in the writing and sentiment was given us on 30 December by your very dear brother, the Duke of Finland.  And while we perceive there from that the zeal and love of your mind towards us is not diminished, yet in part we are grieved that we cannot gratify your Serene Highness with the same kind of affection.  And that indeed does not happen because we doubt in any way of your love and honour, but, as often we have testified both in words and writing, that we have never yet conceived a feeling of that kind of affections towards anyone.  We therefore beg your Serene Highness again and again that you be pleased to set a limit to your love, that it advance not beyond the laws of friendship for the present nor disregard them in the future.  And we in turn shall take care that whatever can be required for the holy preservation of friendship between Princes we will always perform towards your Serene Highness.  It seems strange for your Serene Highness to write that you understand from your brother and your ambassadors that we have entirely determined not to marry an absent husband; and that we shall give you no certain reply until we shall have seen your person.


We certainly think that if God ever direct our hearts to consideration of marriage we shall never accept or choose any absent husband how powerful and wealthy a Prince soever.  But that we are not to give you an answer until we have seen your person is so far from the thing itself that we never even considered such a thing.  But I have always given both to your brother, who is certainly a most excellent prince and deservedly very dear to us, an also to your ambassador likewise the same answer with scarcely any variation of the words, that we do not conceive in our heart to take a husband, but highly scarcely any variation of the words, that we do not conceive in our heart to take a husband, but highly commend this single life, and hope that your Serene Highness will no longer spend time in waiting for us.

God keep your Serene Highness for many years in good health and safety.  From our Palace at Westminster, 25 February.

Your Serene Highness's sister and cousin,
Elizabeth

Spinster's modern translation?

Dude,

I've never even seen you!  You may be rich and powerful, but you might have nasty breath and a fat ass.  Since I have my own money and power (which is more than yours, btw), I'm not interested so quit sending me letters.  I've got other things to do.

We can be friends, though.

Peace out,

Liz