Thought for the day...

If my car window is frozen shut, how am I supposed to get breakfast?

(This may be just a little bit of the reason for my current condition...  Just a little.)

Vicodin and Temper Tantrums

The week started out pretty okay...  Then went into the crapper pretty fast.

I found myself in a city two hours away with a freaking gallstone attack.  If you've had one, you know the fun of which I speak.  If you haven't had one, you do not want to know the fun of which I speak.

I don't even want to talk about the details because I've had to repeat them several times already to my boss, clients, loved ones, and the nurses/doctors.  I'm rather tired of talking about the details.  I'm rather tired, actually.

And not entirely proud of myself.  When I got to my doctor's office, I had the preliminary bs with the nurse.  She was not one of his two regular nurses.  In fact, I think she must be the spare that is kept in the back of the clinic to do paperwork because compassion and common sense are not in her skill set.

First she weighs me -- which always makes me hate the nurse for thirty seconds.  Although -- today -- showed I'd lost some weight.  yay.  Before she takes my vitals, she wants to know why I'm there.  Again, I don't feel like sharing all the details since all you need to know is that, by the time my fanny is in that chair, I've been dealing with this pain for ohhhh .... 33 hours (which I told her) and I've slept for maybe ohhhhh .... five hours during that 33 hours (which I told her).

Onto the vitals and the interrogation:

Nurse:  Wow.  Your blood pressure is high.  Do you take blood pressure medicine -- should we be looking at that, too?

SS: [sliding my bleary, red rimmed eyes to her and trying to desperately telepathically communicate to her that she is a stupid bitch]  I do not take blood pressure medicine.  Do you see that on my chart?  And wouldn't I have elevated blood pressure because I've been at a level 8 pain for 33 hours?

Today is National Margarita Day

There was a time in my life when I was known to make a very tasty margarita...  That was the same time in my life that I would dress in a turkey suit and smoke cigars on our front steps during our parties...  Ohhhh...  To be young and stupid...

That was back in the 'olden' days when there weren't many mixers on the market, so I had to do it from scratch.  Doing it from scratch is kind of a pain in the rump.  That's why I suggest using a mixer...  Or get a Margarita in a Bag!

I'm not sure how it tastes.  I don't think I want to know.

(In)Appropriate Spinster Behavior

Very cute, very smart, very attractive 25 year old male walks into hotel bar and chooses the seat next to the 41 year old spinster:

25YO:  What's good to eat?

SS: [slurping her cosmo and surveying the scenery]  They say the seafood here is good.  I don't like seafood, but I've witnessed people losing themselves over the Red Snapper soup.

25YO:  [grinning]  Sold.

Two hours later:

SS:  What's your IQ?

25YO:  I don't know if I believe in those tests.  Do you?

SS: [shrugging]  I took one once.  It was supposed to take 90 minutes.  I finished in 45 while I was watching TV and scored a 148.

25YO: [gulping]  That's like a genius.

SS:  [shrugging again]  More like an evil sexy genius.

25YO:  How old are you again?

SS:  41.

25YO:  [choking on water]  Not even possible.

SS:  [as she signs her bill]  Totally true.  Terrifying, isn't it?

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Embrace it, my sweets.  They are eager to learn and we are the best teachers they could hope for.  More importantly, our younger sisters need us to teach these young men the ways of the world.