"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." -- Emily Post


Born:  October 27, 1872
Died:  September 25, 1960

"The challenges of change are always hard. It is important that we begin to unpack those challenges that confront this nation and realize that we each have a role that requires us to change and become more responsible for shaping our own future."  -- Hillary Clinton


Born:  October 26, 1947

"Women today have more of an overview of their lives and how marriage is or is not a part of it." -- Helen Reddy

Born:  October 25, 1941

Couponing: The New Sexy?

I have mentioned my couponing habit before, and after a weekend of doing more of it, I am compelled to again.

This weekend, I made seven different shopping trips:  3 stores on Saturday for those coupons that were at the end of their three week "ripeness" and 4 stores on Sunday for those coupons that were at the beginning of their "ripeness."  Before store special savings and coupons, my total bill would have been $679.03.  After the store specials and coupons, my total was $467.90 -- a savings of $211.13 (31%).  Was it worth it?  Hell  yeah!

Again, many of my purchases were things for RLF.  At CVS, I got four boxes of Kellogg's Raisin Bran for $8!  I saved $9.56 just on those boxes of cereal.  That's pretty exciting to me.  Plus, I know that RLF will eat it.  I don't eat cereal (been going low carb -- didn't even like to eat it when I wasn't low carb, it requires to have fresh milk in the house).

"Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk. " -- Dr. Joyce Brothers


Born:  October 20, 1927

I'm a Smart Ass Baby...

Sometimes I kill myself -- so you don't have to kill me for being a smart ass.  Get it?  That song by Beck?

Anyhew... RLF is usually the 'victim' of my sarcasm.  I think I was at the top of my game a couple of days ago.

Monday night while I babysat (she had gone to fetch her husband from work since they're down to one car), RLF started texting me just like a mom:

(6:59 PM to 7:05 PM)
RLF:  Everything going good?
RLF:  I just got here
SS: Yep [my hands were full of baby for heaven's sake]
RLF:  Awesome :)
RLF:  If step daughter gets bratty [the kid is 7 going on 22], let me know.  I warned her before I left
SS:  We're doing her homework :)
RLF:  Wow!  That's great!

I know that's nothing outstanding.  I'm trying to set a mood...  The mood is that she is a little worried that her domestically challenged aunt is in charge of her childrens' well being.  However, she is going to make it seem like it would be the kids' (or her) fault if things go awry.  All I was thinking was, "I can't text and cuddle at the same time.  I'm picking cuddling over texting."

(7:21PM)
RLF:  We're running behind but we're headed back home now.....i am so sorry!!!!
SS:  Okay.  The fire trucks will be here soon.

(7:25PM)
RLF:  Lol!

What's with the rapid fire texting when she has no reason to have anything to worry about?  But a four minute delay when I tell her the house is on fire?  Or is it just that it took her that long to stop the hyperventilating before she realized I was joking?

Tuesday afternoon:

RLF:  Do me a favor?
SS:  Feed Mac'n'Cheese to Aaron Rodgers?  Okay.
SS:  What do you need?
RLF:  Lol, will you look at my employer's website and tell me what u think?  FYI its supposed to be attention grabbing for halloween
SS:  Are there pictures of Aaron and Clay wearing nothing but masks?  Because if there aren't, then it's not catchy.

She only puts up with me so she can have my counted cross stitch cats.

"All I wanted is just what everybody else wants, you know, to be loved." -- Rita Hayworth

Born:  October 17, 1918
Died:  May 14, 1987

Technology: The Enhancer of Our Lives

Last week was a little hectic, so I wasn't around here.  Hectic in a good way, I think.  There was some emotions and feelings shared.  That's always good, right?

Yesterday was bonkers.  If I would have had technology close at hand, I would have ranted and raved all over the place.  I awoke to an email from my boss asking him to resend my yearly review.  Okay.  Groggily, I waded through 'My Documents'...  Uhm.  Frantically, I searched my 'Sent Mail' box knowing it was fruitless since I'd cleaned that out last week.  Then I went to the flash drive.

Sunofa!  I had to redo that (not fun).  Then I had to do the two other things I should have done Friday afternoon but told myself I'd do on Sunday.  After that, a couple of work related errands and then I hit the road.  When I tossed my bags on the couch in my very sweet hotel room, I moaned a little because I knew that my evening would be spent finishing more data entry.  At least the surroundings were nice.

"Being powerful is like being a lady.  If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."  -- Margaret Thatcher

Born:  October 13, 1925

"Every human being on is born with a tragedy, and it isn't original sin.  He's born with the tragedy that he has to grow up... and a lot of people don't have the courage to do it." -- Helen Hayes

Born:  October 10, 1900
Died:  March 17, 1993

Miscellaneous Monday

I woke up pretty crabby this morning.  First, I was annoyed with my alarm clock for reminding me it was 5:30am.  I used to get up early because that's the way I am.  I now get up early just because it takes me longer to get going in the morning these days.

Second, the Packers lost yesterday.  I don't want to say any more about that.

Third, my subconscious is still broken.  Last night I dreamed about John Travolta (Welcome Back Kotter John Travolta that I had a huge crush on when I was a girl) and he wanted to kiss me.  I stopped him because I hadn't brushed my teeth.   Once again, I thought my dreaming thoughts were supposed to be uninhibited.

Things have turned around, however.  I didn't get up and plant myself in front of the television to all of a sudden have a hour and a half go by and then suddenly be panicked that I need to get showered and dressed.  I got in the shower right away.  From there, I couldn't be stopped.

My Subconscious is Broken

Or, at the very least, has let me down.

The other night I had a dream about this man:

This is #12 of the Green Bay Packers.  Aaron Rodgers -- Quarterback, Superbowl XLV MVP, NFL 2011 MVP.  He is what I would define as a 'Cougar Snack' for those of us of a certain age.  And not just because he's handsome.  He's also very smart, articulate, and humble.  On top of it -- he's kind to children and animals.  He's the whole package.

In fact, he's on my 'Freebie List' with Mr. Man.  Mr. Man is in no way threatened by this.  He's smart enough to not say, "Well, you wouldn't have a chance."  He also knows that all I would want to do is make #12 Mac'n'Cheese and just watch how many bowls he could eat.  That's not even a euphemism for something kinky.  It's honest to goodness boiling of pasta and covering it with cheese.  Think about how many calories this guy must expend on the football field!  He must be able to pack it away!

My unconventional view of what I would do should I actually meet my "crush" is also fueled by two important factors:

Technology Buzz Kill continued...

The canker sore and the cramps are gone.  Still crabby.

So I decided to call Office Max for shits and giggles.  I was on hold a long long time.  I finally got to speak to the manager of the whole department.  He was very nice, "Looks like we requested that store transfer today.  Hopefully it should be here tomorrow."

Wait.Wait.Wait.

"Hmmm..." I said, "Well, that's unfortunate.  Yesterday I talked with the Sales Associate who sold it to me last Friday.  She told me that the re-order had been placed on Tuesday after they discovered the mistake on Monday."  He was quiet.  What could he say?  I didn't want to make him do the apology-but-I'm-going-to-back-up-my-employee-because-I'm-a-good-manager-dance.  Especially when I was guessing that he was not happy to hear that tidbit -- it always bites you in the ass when you lie to a customer like she did.

I continued, "I realize that's neither here nor there and I am not going to yell at you for that.  I do think it's important that you know what was communicated by one of your employees.  That said, where do we stand now?"  More time on hold.  Him calling places.  Him asking if he could call me back.  Oh, he did offer me the floor model.  He didn't offer a discount.  I didn't ask.  I just said that wouldn't be an option.

He had to call me back while he called the other store because he couldn't see if it had been shipped yet or not.  We just got off the phone.  The person he talked to at the other store couldn't tell if it had been shipped or not because she couldn't look up tracking numbers in the system.

Uhm.  This is now the point where you tell the person from the other store to go get another one (if they have more stock) and send it out herself right this moment.  Like NOW.

I'm not even pissed anymore.  I'm ambivalent about the whole thing.  I fell in love with that laptop.  I looked it up on the Best Buy web site.  Yeah, that was a sign of desperation.  It is $80 more at Best Buy.  They have it in stock in my city.

Pay more and go against everything in me by walking into Best Buy.

Harumph.

Why Is Buying Technology a Buzz Kill?

I have cramps and a canker sore.  I may be crabbier than usual.  I am going to rant.  Get some coffee or a cocktail.

This is a topic that I was going to write about on Friday, but was sidetracked by the annoying friend.  Today brought the topic to the front of my mind again and I must rant.  The topic is buying technology.  It is, in my opinion, a pain in the ass.

Technology is meant to be a tool and it is also meant to entertain.  It should, in this world, bring us all the instant satisfaction that we desire.  Yet obtaining technology seems to be an ever increasing complicated mess that is not for the weak of heart.  Here's what I want when I am buying technology:  I walk in and tell the sales person what I want.  The salesperson leads me to what I want and I am immediately in love.  I buy it, I go home and open it and it works and I am happy.  Is that so hard?

Apparently so.

That's What you Spend on a Mani-Pedi

Today was a very productive day.   More productive than I intended, actually.  This is the first time today that I've really been "still".  And that's how I became more productive than planned.  I had such a momentum going, that I kept seeing little projects that needed tending to and I did them.  Whut?  I know.  Then I started stressing when I looked at the clock and I smacked myself on the forehead, "You are not going out of town tomorrow night.  You can do this tomorrow night!"

THANK you!  Now I can be a slouch again.

Of course, I've not had very many productive weekends of late.  And, since yesterday was a total loss of a day, I suppose I shouldn't feel triumphant about today.  Yesterday I slept a lot.  Not napped, but slept because my body needed it.  Why would my body need so much sleep?  Because I was horrendously hung over.  And what exciting thing could have happened to make me hung over?  A coworker (who used to be my dearest friend, but I've distanced myself from because she's ... a mess) called to bitch about work, her life, and this that and the other.

Napping: What do men know that we don't?

I love naps.  It is vexxing to me that, in my lifetime, I have not perfected the art of the nap.  It eludes me like the Holy Grail has eluded treasure hunters for centuries.  I dream about the perfect nap that finds me waking refreshed and without a care in the world.  Of course I've had a few good naps in my life -- but I can never remember how to get there again.  My women friends have expressed the same frustration:  How did I do that again?  Therefore, I turned to researching the species that can outnap a woman -- men.

I'm not including cats because I'm not certain they are actually napping or just laying there with their eyes closed plotting world domination.  Scientists will tell you they're napping -- but they also do not believe that animals are capable of thinking or emotion.  Any Crazy Cat Lady would tell you that is not true and have more than ten examples of things her cats have done to prove otherwise.

I digress.  Back to my 'research'...

Cleaning tips from the Spinster

After having recently been at a dinner party and sat with a bunch of married with children women, I was again reminded that this life of a spinster isn't so bad.  One of the big reasons?  Cleaning.  First of all, there is only one person making the mess -- me.  Therefore, there isn't as much mess ... maybe.  Second, how clean (or not clean) my place is affects only my well being.  I don't have to go to Parents' Night at the school and be concerned that the other moms are going to be whispering to each other, "There she is...  Yes I've been to her house.  You know the head lice epidemic started there."  Speaking of head lice, RLF's step daughter just had two go-rounds with that one.  Cleaning up after that would tempt me to just move and buy all new furniture.

As I listened to the woes of cleaning up after a husband and children, I was happy for my very simple cleaning routine.  Okay, my lazy cleaning routine.  There was a time in my life when I was fastidious.  Half of every Saturday was spent dusting, vacuuming, cleaning surfaces.  I was so psycho that the tops of the heat registers were cleaned every week.  Now they only get attention about twice a year.  I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to tempt fate and staph infections.

With that in mind, I have only five tips that are enough to get the Sassy Spinster through the day.

Spinster vs. The Mother in Law

No no no .. My status of Spinster is not being compromised by my going out and getting a mother-in-law... I am, however, getting ready to do battle with a ferocious mother-in-law -- RLF's MIL.  Now, this isn't going to be a post about how all MILs are spat up from the bowels of hell and put here to challenge marriages.  I don't believe that.  Mother-in-Laws that are from the Ninth Circle are not that way because they are Mother-in-Laws -- it is simply because of who they are.  In my experience, a Mother-in-Law who is despised by a son or daughter-in-law is a person who is universally despised anyway.  It's maybe just a little more irksome because this woman came with the 'Until death parts us' package.

I would like to point out that years ago -- before RLF met her husband -- I gave her advice about choosing her mate.  We were watching an old episode of something on television (it was in black and white and I can't remember what show).  Two bachelors were talking about women and one of them said that you always want to get a good look at their mother because it will tell you what the woman will be like when she gets older.  RLF rolled her eyes, "God I hope my boyfriends don't look at my mom and run the other way because of her."  I kept my mouth shut about that, but offered some advice, "The same is true for women choosing a husband, you know."

She rolled her eyes again, "So you look at their fathers?"  I shook my head, "Nope.  You look at their mothers.  How she acts is going to be how she always acts.  While you may think that you can change the man you marry -- you're never going to change his mother and she's always going to be there.  So, if you can't stand the way she acts, you might not want to marry him -- unless she lives more than two hours away."  She nodded in solemn agreement, "That's an excellent point.  It's probably good my mother lives so far away."  My eyes slid sideways to her.  Hopefully she got my point because, as much as her mother drives me crackers, I was talking about a future husband's mother.

Spinster Name vs. Married Name

Okay...  I haven't been around as much as I intended to be.  Work mostly.  That and not feeling well.  I could have blogged about those things but ... well ... that would just be bitching.  I'm really good at bitching, mind you, but I thought it was best to keep it to myself.

Today I want to talk about "Spinster Name vs. Married Name".  Being a spinster does not mean that a woman is without love in her life.  I, in fact, do have love in my life.  For a number of years, in fact.  Why he has not taken my spinsterhood is a whole long complicated story.  And, I prefer to take credit for it myself.

I will call my sweetie Mr. Man.  I also prefer sweetie to 'boyfriend' or 'significant other' just because I think I'm too old for a boyfriend and, having gone to college in the nineties, I got way overloaded on 'significant other'.  Mr. Man is a huge sports fan and he's an athlete.  This was actually a little bit of a turn off for me because I generally regard that type as 'knuckle draggers'.  Mr. Man, however, has an advanced degree and is very well versed on other topics, so it became palatable.

Over time, his love (he's been a fan since he was a tot) for a particular sports team rubbed off on me and I am now fan-atical about them.  I am speaking about The Green Bay Packers.  My interest in them grew not for their prowess on the field but because of their story.  As I said, I love stories.  I also love history.  There isn't a sports franchise that has a story as rich or a history as long as The Green Bay Packers.  Besides their story and their history, they have Aaron Rodgers and Clay Matthews.  I realize that there are plenty of dirty old women (I have some friends) who would like to see one or both of these young men naked.  Not me -- I would like to serve them some Mac'n'Cheese (with cut up hot dogs) and juice boxes in return for me being able to look at them.

Hmmm.... Maybe dirty old lady who wants to see them naked is less creepy.

Why 'Spinster'?

For some, I know this is a derogatory term because it is also commonly known as 'Old Maid'.  This might cause some to even pity the spinster as she is both old and still a maid (allegedly).  Wikipedia has a good article on the history of spinster.  Personally, I don't see a need to belabor definitions and uses of the word because I don't adhere to them.  Or rather, I'm not afraid of those definitions or uses because they don't scare or offend me even though I'm told that they should.

It's not an effort on my part to try to be 'counter culture' or 'rebellious'.  I guess I've just never been smart enough to be frightened by what it would mean to be in my forties and never married.  At different points in my life I have thought about marriage and children.  There have been times that I've wanted one but not the other, neither, or both.  Seems the children one is falling by the wayside and THAT'S OKAY!  I have one friend who has told me on numerous occasions that my life is will never be fulfilled if I don't have children. I have tried to respectfully disagree.  She hasn't let up, so I now very disrespectfully disagree with her.

How did I get here?

I think we all know the biological way I got into this world, so I will spare you the details of THAT whole debacle.  The question I'll answer is how I got to this place on the world wide web.  I know there are newer, more updated terms than "world-wide web" or "information highway", but I'm an old lady (according to the definition I had of someone my age when I was sixteen) and so would like to cling to the terms that I became accustomed to when this whole infrastructure was being built.

It all started with my parents.  Obviously.  They were foolish enough to believe that, when I was developing into a thinking human being, that it would be appropriate to answer my questions with honest and direct answers instead of 'because'.  If they didn't know the answer, they would sit me down with the appropriate volume of our cherished set of Encyclopedias and figure it out with me.  The only thing this accomplished was to give me the impression that, when I was curious about something, I should ask questions or look up the answer.  What were they thinking?!