Very cute, very smart, very attractive 25 year old male walks into hotel bar and chooses the seat next to the 41 year old spinster:
25YO: What's good to eat?
SS: [slurping her cosmo and surveying the scenery] They say the seafood here is good. I don't like seafood, but I've witnessed people losing themselves over the Red Snapper soup.
25YO: [grinning] Sold.
Two hours later:
SS: What's your IQ?
25YO: I don't know if I believe in those tests. Do you?
SS: [shrugging] I took one once. It was supposed to take 90 minutes. I finished in 45 while I was watching TV and scored a 148.
25YO: [gulping] That's like a genius.
SS: [shrugging again] More like an evil sexy genius.
25YO: How old are you again?
SS: 41.
25YO: [choking on water] Not even possible.
SS: [as she signs her bill] Totally true. Terrifying, isn't it?
---------------------------------
Embrace it, my sweets. They are eager to learn and we are the best teachers they could hope for. More importantly, our younger sisters need us to teach these young men the ways of the world.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Today in Queen Bess's Life
In 1547, Elizabeth's younger brother, Edward was crowned and became Edward VI of England. He was only nine years old, but it would make sense that he was ready to be King since his father had signed the Treaty of Greenwich in July of 1543 which formally betrothed his young son to the then seven month old Mary Queen of Scots.
To help the boy with the task of ruling an entire country, his father had names sixteen executors who were to act as Edward's Council until he reached the age of 18. And, in keeping with any monarch's reign during that time, the boy found himself surrounded by scoundrels and schemers.
Stay tuned...
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
The Best Use of Email
Email has a ton of great uses. But the best so far? Emailing your doctor. The world of online appointment scheduling and emailing my doctor has just arrived in my corner of the world. I don't just like it, I LOVE it. A person always feels their worst on the weekend or at night when the office is closed. To be able to log in and see if there is an appointment available for the next business day is consoling. To be able to log in and send an email saying, "This is my deal. Call me back." is even better.
Yes, yes. One can call and be on terminal hold until someone answers and tells you there isn't anything available for a week -- oh, but you feel really bad? Let me leave a message with your doctor's office. Then you wait for the doctor to call you back. This way, it goes right to the doctor -- or, rather, his nurse and she takes care of calling you back and doing what needs to be done while you do the other things that need to get done when you aren't feeling well -- like sleeping or those urgent work emails.
Sunday, February 17, 4:15pm: E-Mailed Dr: Here's my problem. I'm going out of town for a week. Any way you can beam a prescription to my pharmacy before I have to leave town on Monday afternoon? If you can't get it to them before I leave, this is where I'm staying and this is the closest pharmacy.
All the information is there -- no rolling my eyes while the nurse has to write it all down. I'm sure she appreciates not having to write it all down, too.
Monday, February 18, 2:26pm (which is about the same time I would have heard back if I would have called and sat on hold and then been transferred to talk to the nurse): Call back from Dr.'s Nurse. I talked with the doctor. We didn't get the prescription to your local pharmacy in time. We're calling the one you gave us the info for in your email. Also consider 800mgs of ibuprofen for this matter.
Monday, February 18, 4:07pm: Prescription in hand. Problem going to go away this week instead of next week.
Bing. Bam. Boom. Best use of email.
Yes, yes. One can call and be on terminal hold until someone answers and tells you there isn't anything available for a week -- oh, but you feel really bad? Let me leave a message with your doctor's office. Then you wait for the doctor to call you back. This way, it goes right to the doctor -- or, rather, his nurse and she takes care of calling you back and doing what needs to be done while you do the other things that need to get done when you aren't feeling well -- like sleeping or those urgent work emails.
Sunday, February 17, 4:15pm: E-Mailed Dr: Here's my problem. I'm going out of town for a week. Any way you can beam a prescription to my pharmacy before I have to leave town on Monday afternoon? If you can't get it to them before I leave, this is where I'm staying and this is the closest pharmacy.
All the information is there -- no rolling my eyes while the nurse has to write it all down. I'm sure she appreciates not having to write it all down, too.
Monday, February 18, 2:26pm (which is about the same time I would have heard back if I would have called and sat on hold and then been transferred to talk to the nurse): Call back from Dr.'s Nurse. I talked with the doctor. We didn't get the prescription to your local pharmacy in time. We're calling the one you gave us the info for in your email. Also consider 800mgs of ibuprofen for this matter.
Monday, February 18, 4:07pm: Prescription in hand. Problem going to go away this week instead of next week.
Bing. Bam. Boom. Best use of email.
Monday, February 18, 2013
The Reluctant Tampon Shopper
He just wanted to pick up some candy canes to give out at work during the past Christmas Season. Mr. Man asked me to accompany him to Walmart. He knows I hate Walmart. I know that's un-American, but my father frequently tells me I'm a communist because I don't like: brussels sprouts, pie, Jeopardy (Aaron Rodgers likes Jeopardy), or fishing. Basically anything I don't like that he likes means I'm a communist.
Anyway, we went to Walmart and I worked to control my hyperventilating. Mainly, I don't like Walmart because it's usually merchandised in such a way that the shelves are stacked high and very close together which makes me claustrophobic. If the shelves are not close together, they seem flimsy and like they are going to topple at any moment.
While he went in search of someone to help him with the massive number of candy canes he wanted, I went to see if Walmart actually had my brand and size of tampons. See, in December 2010, my brand of tampon (ob) experienced a 'temporary supply interruption'. It was four months of bitching and complaining -- Mr. Man was sympathetic, but sick of hearing, "You don't use a brand of tampon for 25 years and just switch! It's inhumane!" The only reprieve he had was the two weeks succeeding the Packers' win of the Superbowl. It was the Great ob Tampon Shortage of Winter 2010 (or was it 2011 -- I don't know what it's supposed to be when winter straddles two years).
Anyway, we went to Walmart and I worked to control my hyperventilating. Mainly, I don't like Walmart because it's usually merchandised in such a way that the shelves are stacked high and very close together which makes me claustrophobic. If the shelves are not close together, they seem flimsy and like they are going to topple at any moment.
While he went in search of someone to help him with the massive number of candy canes he wanted, I went to see if Walmart actually had my brand and size of tampons. See, in December 2010, my brand of tampon (ob) experienced a 'temporary supply interruption'. It was four months of bitching and complaining -- Mr. Man was sympathetic, but sick of hearing, "You don't use a brand of tampon for 25 years and just switch! It's inhumane!" The only reprieve he had was the two weeks succeeding the Packers' win of the Superbowl. It was the Great ob Tampon Shortage of Winter 2010 (or was it 2011 -- I don't know what it's supposed to be when winter straddles two years).
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