Monday, February 4, 2013

I'm not sure this is so cutting edge...

Ooof.  It's Monday morning and I find myself with another hangover.  Not a HBB induced hangover, but a LMN Movie Hangover.  A 1996 piece of artistry called Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? starring Ms. Tori Spelling.  I can't resist me some Tori Spelling or Jennie Garth or Shannen Doherty.  Don't get me wrong, I love Tori, but I think she might have been in porn if she wasn't Aaron Spelling's daughter.  She really gets into kissing her costars.  Sometimes I can't watch it -- other times I'm fascinated that her jaw can move that way.  So ... kind of like porn.  Sometimes it's just gross, sometimes it's fascinating.

LMN can't get all the credit, however.  I managed to twist my back last Wednesday afternoon.  I laid in bed all night alternately crying and dozing -- mostly crying.  I had to make a 2.5 hour drive home the next morning to see the doctor.  Let me just say he set me up.

I've never had the pleasure of prescription pain killers.  I had 400 stitches across my chest after breast reduction.  I used regular Tylenol.  I had a kidney stone.  Midol worked that time.  This was something entirely different.  I was expecting Vicodin, but instead received a nice little cocktail that involved two pain killers and a muscle relaxant.  Oh, and an antibiotic for my sinus infection along with a nose spray (which I only used once because it was grody feeling).



All I can say is it was four days of nothing really mattering anything to me.  Is mattering a word?  I wouldn't have cared yesterday..  It was a nice vacay, but I have to see how I can go without the pain killers because I definitely cannot drive when I'm taking that stuff.   Well, not further than a mile down the road for smokes.

What does any of this have to do with being cutting edge?  See, I normally get my scripts at Target.  On Thursday, however, I elected to have my scripts prepared at the clinic pharmacy because getting in and out of the car was the most painful part of it all and I wanted to minimize that activity.

I ventured downstairs just as the pharmacy technician was perusing the laundry list of medications he needed to prepare for me.  He asked me to wait in the lobby of the clinic where I would be "more comfortable."  Uhm, do you see what I've been prescribed?  It's not possible to be comfortable until I take those pills -- rather that's what I was hoping for.

I hobbled to the lobby to wait and people watch.  An older lady came through the doors and started a one way conversation with me about how she should move to Phoenix because it's not cold there and 'Why in the hell do I live here?'  I don't have much sympathy for that stuff because, if you hate it so much, leave.  I have less sympathy when I am in pain.  I didn't respond and just swiveled my head toward the television just as the very obese man who was watching the television decided to get up and change the channel...

This is how THAT went:  I was standing behind his couch.  He stood and then went over to the television and bent over.  Let me repeat -- obese and probably about 70.  He was wearing navy blue sweatpants and no underwear.  I got a view of his backside when he bent over.  It wasn't a complimentary angle.

With that, I meandered back to the pharmacy praying that my stuff was ready.  It wasn't, but I preferred talking to the jumpy tech who started to explain how they were set up.  I honestly didn't care, but I also didn't want to think of conversation.  He proudly told me, "We are a teleconference pharmacy."  Okaayyyy... When you say it like that, it doesn't sound good.  Does the mean there is someone teleconferencing with him to tell him how to prepare my drugs?

What it means is that there is a camera over his shoulder and there is a Pharmacist in another city sitting at a desk watching him prepare the scripts.  Uhm?  Then, when he is finished, he calls the pharmacist and I go over to a computer monitor and we kinda web chat -- but I'm on the phone with her so it's all confidential.  I don't remember how many pharmacies are set up this way within the clinic system I go to.  It seemed pretty ass backwards to me.  If the goal was saving the salary on a pharmacist, what's the deal with one sitting and watching over his shoulder?  Unless she's watching over ten people's shoulders at the same time -- which doesn't make me feel safe.  What does that do to wait times when she has to consult with the patients at ten clinics while she's also supposed to be watching what he does?

I didn't ask all of those questions.  I didn't want to distract him from getting me my sweet relief.

He was very proud nonetheless, "It's very cutting edge!"  If he's referring to the technology, even a luddite like myself knows that the technology has been there for several years.

I'm thinking that James the Pharmacy Tech just doesn't know how to talk to girls because it didn't seem very cutting edge to me.

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